By Panrit “Gor” Daoruang
After I had lost support from my family, I was lucky I still had someone who I could call a real friend to guide me. He helped me to the end and he is the one who led me out of that stupid drug-addicted world. He always helped me even though I lied to him so many times. I broke every one of my promises to him. I also stole things from him just to get the money for drugs. But he never gave up on me like my parents. He is the kind of person that every drug addict needs. A person that trusts them till the end whatever happens.
I finally realised that the only way to quit was to leave all of my drug addict friends behind. If I didn’t do that and I still hung around with them, there would be a higher chance for me to go back to drugs. I then left them and concentrated on working on my www.thailandlife.com web site and a new one that I had just started called www.learningthai.com. I found that if I focused on my work rather than taking drugs I could keep my mind clear. It was very hard at first as I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything for very long. But, I kept going.
Even though I am now clean from drugs, my past as a drug addict still haunts me. I have learned that a drug addict is always a drug addict even though they have quit. I will always be the one that everyone points their fingers at when something goes missing. Even if I didn’t do anything wrong. At first I felt I wanted to hurt them back. But now I have learned to live with it because I was the one that made a mistake. I now say to myself, “Don’t care about what people say about you, don’t argue with them about what they say if you didn’t do anything wrong. You have to accept and live with it because of your past. They are human, in the real world this is how it works”.
I wouldn’t have been able to stay away from drugs without the support from my primary school teacher, the person who I call my friend. He is the one who signed up to help me and really helped me. He is the only one who was always there to support me with everything, no matter what. He is the guy who gave me a new life and teaches me how to handle everything. He is the best friend in the world I have ever had. Without him, I would still be a drug addict living by the side of the road or maybe not even alive anymore. He is a god for me!
I want to finish this series of columns on drug addiction by giving some advice to everyone. First for teenagers, don’t even think about trying drugs. It is much easier to get addicted than you think. And once you are addicted it is almost impossible to quit. Lots of things won’t be the same again even if you can quit.
Second, to teachers or teenagers that know someone who is addicted to drugs. Do your best to help them. Even if it seems like they don’t want your help but I am sure that deep down inside, they do need and want help from you. And, if you have already committed yourself to helping them, please help them to the end. Don’t stop half way through because you will make them worse than before. Also, be careful what you say and what you do. Remember that they are not in control of themselves. They can’t really understand much about what is going on.
Finally, I want every teenager to learn from my mistakes and I hope that my story will be useful for anyone who looks after a drug addict. Please help them and lead them to the right way. Thank you!
Since the time Gor stopped writing this column for the Bangkok Post, he was on and off drugs for a few years until he was finally arrested for drug possession in 2005. The following year he was sentenced to three years at Samut Prakan Central Prison.
The following are the blogs that I wrote about his day in court and first year in prison:
01 A Day in a Thai Court
02 Courtroom Drama in Thailand
03 Judgement Day in a Thai Court
04 The Courthouse Lockup
05 Back at the Thai Courthouse
06 Visiting Gor in Klong Dan Prison
07 First Day in a Thai Prison
08 An Average Day in a Thai Prison
09 Surviving in a Thai Prison
10 Becoming a Cell Boss
11 Contact Visit at the Prison